There's No Place Like Home
by MinervaDeannaBond
Summary: A movie night watching "The Wizard Of Oz" inspires Bond to do something sweet for a lonely M. In his own special, offbeat way, he reminds here that she has a place to belong - and that there's no place like home. Just another slice of 00M fluff.


Here's my latest 00M story, inspired by liz1967! Her references to _The Wizard of Oz _in her Bond stories got me thinking, and... here's Part 1 of a two-part result! Suffice it to say that Bond helps M to realize that there's no place like home.

For liz1967, thanks for inspiring me to write this. I hope you don't mind that I've borrowed some of your elements - they were just too awesome!

* * *

"I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!"

"SHUT IT, Q!"

The hapless Quartermaster grabbed a nearby throw pillow and held it in front of his face as three handfuls of popcorn came flying at him. The popcorn effectively deflected by the pillow, Q then took the opportunity to beat his couch mates soundly over the head with it, which resulted in an all-out pillow fight, the movie be hanged. The four combatants were acting more like children than the dignified MI6 employees they were, but at the moment, they didn't care. They'd all been through so much crap in the last five months, they all felt like they deserved a moment of carefree childishness – which would have been quelled in a heartbeat had their boss actually been awake to see it.

"Oi! Stop it, you lot!" Eve Moneypenny cried, though she couldn't help laughing as the last round of pillows were thwacked over willing heads. "We're going to wake M if we don't quiet down."

At the mention of their boss's name, Q, Bill Tanner, and James Bond ceased fire and paused to follow Moneypenny's finger to the couch. Sure enough, M was fast asleep, her head resting on her arm and a peaceful expression on her face that was probably only ever achieved in sleep. "Trust her to fall asleep," Tanner said, shaking his head fondly. "She suggested this movie night, and she's the one who ends up taking a snooze."

"Let her sleep," Bond murmured, casting a fond smile upon M's sleeping form. "She's had precious little time to rest since she returned to work."

"Yeah, and I feel for her, trying to clean up Raoul Silva's mess by herself," Q said, picking a stray piece of popcorn out of his untidy mop of hair. "Even so, it's just a relief to have her back at all."

All four of them nodded and exchanged a few _mmm-hmms _in assent. M had made a full recovery from the wound she suffered at Skyfall, but the whole agency had been on tenterhooks for the full duration of her five-month recovery period, waiting on and babying her until she finally told them to bog off before she gave the sack to the whole lot of them. The only four who hadn't treated her like a glass figurine were Bond, Tanner, Moneypenny, and Q – rather, they had visited her occasionally and carried on as though everything was back to normal, bantering and sparring with her like old times. To thank them, M had suggested a movie night in the employee lounge and chosen an old favorite, _The Wizard of Oz. _But not even the entire population of Munchkinland singing "Follow The Yellow Brick Road" was enough to keep her awake, or so it seemed.

"She looks like Dorothy," Q observed, causing the others to turn their heads to him in surprise. "If you think about it for more than two seconds, she does. Not physically, but metaphorically. She's been emotionally lost ever since the Skyfall mission and she's just trying to find her way home; where she really belongs."

"I don't think she's really known where she belongs ever since her husband passed away five years back," Tanner said, his dark blue eyes compassionate as they studied M. "She won't tell me so much, but I can see it in her eyes. She's lonely, just like Dorothy."

Moneypenny shook her head sadly. "I'd have gone to visit her if I could, but nobody knows where in London she lives. Other than the inner workings of MI6, it's the best-kept secret in the UK."

A smile flirted with Bond's lips at this, but he snuffed it for fear he might be bombarded with the dreaded question: _what do you know? _Truth was, he did know where M lived, probably because he was the only one with enough gall to hack into her computer, access her personal files, and learn more about her than anybody else could ever hope to know: her address, age, Service history, and most importantly, her name, which she safeguarded under penalty of death – and Bond knew that from personal experience. He knew M; it was as simple as that. Knew her so well that he was more in tune with her emotions and feelings than anybody, and he knew that Tanner was right in saying that M was lonely. Oh yes, Bond took it upon himself to pop 'round at M's house unexpectedly and quite often in the middle of the night, just before she walked through the door, but he knew it wasn't enough. Too often, his little visits had ended with M threatening to airlift him to South Africa and feed him to the sharks if he didn't stop breaking in. Bond knew better, though. He knew that those threats were just a cover for what she was really saying: _door's always open, as though you didn't know. Keep popping over, Bond. You make the loneliness disappear for a while. _

_If only I could banish it for good, M. I wish I could tell you…_

"Hey, if M's Dorothy, what does that make us?"

Moneypenny's question snapped Bond out of his thoughts and he blinked at her quizzically. "The Munchkins of Munchkinland, Eve; how should I know?"

Moneypenny smirked at him and aimed a smack at his arm. "I mean, we're all connected to M in one way or another. Look at the three of you. You're just like Dorothy's friends, but who's who?"

"Tin Man," Bond and Tanner spoke up at the same time, pointing straight at Q.

The Quartermaster merely grinned. "You know what; I take that as a great compliment. The Tin Man had the greatest heart of all, even when he thought he didn't."

"Computers don't have hearts, Q, no matter what you might have learned from all those reruns of _Star Trek: The Next Generation_," Bond chuckled.

"I resent that, 007. Data was more than just an android, which you'd know if you bothered to watch anything other than the news and _Law & Order: UK._"

"Says the man who goes into DTs if he misses so much as one episode of _Downton Abbey._"

"All right, you two, that's enough!" Moneypenny said, holding up her hands and shooting looks at Q and Bond. "For goodness' sake, we don't need to turn this into a Trekkie talk or a Downton debate. Q's the Tin Man; we've established that. Who's the Lion?"

All eyes turned to Tanner, who did a double take in disbelief. "Are you all calling me a coward? I got M out safely when Silva burst in during the hearing and bullets were ricocheting off the walls; if that's not courage, I don't know what is!"

"Bill, that's exactly why you're so perfect for the Lion," Moneypenny said kindly, laying a hand on Tanner's shoulder. "You're so soft-spoken in life that when you do get angry, you roar like a lion and show just how much courage you really have." She patted Tanner's shoulder when he smiled at her praise.

"I guess that makes me the Scarecrow, because I'm so smart," Bond said, his azure eyes twinkling with their usual mischief.

"No, it's because you get the stuffing knocked out of you in the field so much," Q piped up, causing Moneypenny and Tanner to snort with laughter. "Face it, Bond, 'that's you all over.'"

"Are you going to shut up? You're squeaking enough as it is."

"Both of you shut it before I crack your thick skulls together!"

All four of them jumped at the sound of their boss's voice. They reverted their attention to the couch just in time to see M rising from her seat, glaring at her four employees. "First of all, the next person who wakes me up from the best sleep I've had in months is sacked. Second of all, what were you lot arguing about? Best I could hear, you were comparing yourselves to the characters from _The Wizard of Oz._"

The four of them glanced sheepishly at each other, unsure whether to admit such a childish thing to M or not. "Uh…" Q tentatively broke the silence. "Just a personality thing, ma'am. We were trying to figure out which of the characters matches our individual personalities best."

M nodded, a skeptical scowl still etched into her face. "Right. And I suppose I'm the Wicked Witch of the West?"

"No!"

"No!"

"No!"

"Never in a million years."

Even M was surprised at the gentleness in Bond's answer, so different from the adamant no's given by Tanner, Q, and Moneypenny. Well, the two of them had become close in the last few months, closer than they ever had been. The Skyfall mission had marked a change in their relationship… but what that change was, M still wasn't sure. "Who am I, then? Glinda?"

The boys all snickered. "No, that's Eve," Tanner laughed, ducking when Moneypenny took a swing at his head. "The Good Witch who helps Dorothy on her adventures."

"Dorothy? Which one of us is…" M's face slowly cracked into an incredulous smile as the four imps before her grinned proudly. "Oh, now you're all taking the mickey. I'm no Dorothy!"

"Of course you are. You've even got a Toto."

"Bond, don't be daft; I don't have a dog."

"Do too. You have that bulldog on your desk at the office."

M rolled her eyes. "You lot can keep right on dreaming. Next thing, you'll be saying that Gareth Mallory is the Wizard of Oz."

"NO!" came the collective shout.

"The way he tried to force you into retirement? Please, he's the Wicked Witch and all his toadies from Intelligence and Security are his loyal Flying Monkeys," Bond said, sending everyone into more convulsions of laughter, even M.

"All right, you lot, that's enough for one night," M said, waving her arms to shoo them out the door. "Go home and get some sleep."

As they filed out the door, Bond called over his shoulder, "It's supposed to be windy tonight. Try not to get blown away to Oz, Dorothy."

"You wish, 007! I don't even own a pair of Ruby Slippers!"

Little did M know that with that one little comment, she had just given Bond his best idea yet.


End file.
